It continues to haunt me.
In my dreams
In my few alone moments
In the simplest recollections of the past
It's there.
Will it never leave me?
Am I forever scarred?
All I can do is pray not.
It should not still be with me
It should be dead and gone
And yet
And yet -
There it is
In everything I say and do
It weighs upon me
It invades my life
How have I not killed it?
How does it continue to thrive?
Easy.
I let it.
I keep it dangling by one small thread of life
And it continues to torment me
And haunt me.
I refuse to let it die.
Some small part of me never wants to forget
But some small part of me never wants to remember.
It's too painful
It's too much
It's there.
Even if some day I do kill it
And allow it to stay dead
It will linger
Because it has affected me
In ways I cannot yet fathom.
Like a scar that refuses to go away -
Like a wound kept open -
It will stay.
The injury may stop throbbing
But the pain will never fade away.
10 comments:
welcome to the wonderful world of disn.... er, depression. =[ i'm here for ya, k?
You're such a dork...ah well. Thanks kid. <3
i'm proud of that fact, thanks.
Oh good.
But can you guess the subject matter...
hmm... well, i WAS assuming it was the depression you were talking about, but apparently not... or at least not specific enough, maybe? hmmm. the panic attacks?
Depression? Possibly. Panic attacks? Could be - but that wasn't what spawned this. Keep going, kid...
shit.. i'll guess this once, and only once, and then it's gonna die.
...jealousy?
*prays that's not it*
...moving on to happier guesses...
past crushes that aren't so 'passed' after all?
No, past crushes aren't.
Still not it.
"I have no clue, then," said the tired brain, worn out from just two weeks of college.
私のふるいうちです。
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