I think I've had a breakthrough...

I feel...: dorky
Jammin' to: Linkin Park *Numb*
Yeah, just a little one though...not really a breakthrough, come to that...just a realisation really...
Anywho, here we go...
So I realised today, in the Concert Choir final, that despite my low self-esteem and opinion of myself (and everyone else's), I realised that maybe I'm not half so hated or disliked as I thought I was. I mean, I just assumed that everyone hated me. But then, for my CC final, I started with, "Well, I'm [Remus] and I'll be doing My Chemical Romance's 'Drowning Lessons.' And I know that I'm not supposed to do this but I apologise -- I've got a cold for like the millionth time this year and I have no idea what I'm gonna sound like, so bear with me." All silent. So Doyle starts the song, and I start singing (pleasantly surprised but not that it's in my head voice, I mean it didn't sound too bad to me, but I'd practised in mixed and I'd liked how it sounded). So I forget some of the words in the bridge kinda thing and get all embarassed but I remembered what came next so it was all good. So after the last "Without a sound, and I wish you away," I'm like, "K, that's basically it, it just fades at this point," so as he's turning it off, the class started clapping and doing those strange wooooo things girls do (it's an all-girls choir, did I mention that?) and I just kinda was like to myself, "Okay then, that's kinda weird," and to Doyle I was like, "That was the longest four minutes of my life," and he just laughed and said, "You did good," and I was like again to myself, "K, this is really weird...they're clapping and woooooing like I never woulda guessed or expected, and Doyle's giving me a compliment...alrighty then," and it was kinda cool. I just didn't expect it, and if you were there and are reading this *cough*Meddy*cough*, here's my little disclaimer thing:
Um, yeah, this probably sounds all stuck up, like, "Yay me! I got applause! All love me!" but it's not meant that way, not at all. It's meant to be an honest...I dunno, there's a word for it...kinda like just a little thing to say, "Hey, this little thing you lot did meant a lot to me, thank you, and my self-esteem thanks you too." That kind of thing, like a thank-you note thing. Also something that needs to be included in this little disclaimer is that my imagination may have changed something(s). I honestly don't know -- how could I, come to that, know whatever (if any) embellishment my imagination's added is all that I remember? My memory sucks anyway, so who knows? Well, if you were there, feel free to comment and set me straight, I'd appreciate that too. Even if it means I've totally deluded myself (always a possibility with me) go for it...either way, I'd rather remember the truth than this fun little uplifting (on my part anyway) anecdote.
K, so that's it. I'm done now. Kinda sad, that it's taken me an hour to type all this. But then, I was watching "Notting Hill," at the same time, so I guess it kinda makes sense. Just kinda though.
Peace
Remus

What a Load of Shite.

I feel...: sick, but not puking like him
Jammin' to: *How Merrily We Live* [it's a madrigal]
K, well, time for une autre update (I'm so glad I figured out the markups for this).
This is just to explain my "interests" thing in my bio...yes I know that it seems that I feel that every little thing I do requires an explanation...
So, to business. MCR...well k that's flipping obvious. AFI...that is too. You've Got Mail...that's my favoriteist romantic comedy ever, it's such a feel-good movie, I like to watch it when I'm sick (like right now. God I've been sick so friggin' much this school year! Gahhhhh!). Tom Hanks...he's an incredible actor and if he wasn't forty years my senior and I knew him, he'd be off the market (if you know what I'm sayin'), I love that guy. Gerard Way...great voice, the lead singer of [if you don't know you are unworthy of reading this, so bugger off -- I solly, I swear a lot when I'm sick], and I really think he could be a great actor too, judging by the Ghost of You video, boy do I love my actors lol. Acting...well that might have something to do with it, it's one of my favoriteist activities in the world to do, I dunno, like I've said before, I get a high off acting, it's exhilherating (I can't spell). Theatre...see above. Stage...yeah, doi. Guitar...I'm learning how to play (chanson par chanson) but I love the instrument and I looooove my baby -- it's an Ovation Celebrity!! AAHHHH!! Music...yeah, music is my life, I've loved music from day one, it doesn't matter what kind just so long as it's got a rhythm and pitch (k, rap does NOT count, k?). Madrigals...by far the most fun type of song to sing, lots of "fa la la"--ing, but they've got fun melody/harmony lines and the words are quite -- erm -- interesting. Henry Ford...he's just a cool guy, I find him fascinating, "History is bunk!"
K so that's that.
That is all.
Peace out
Remus

Pass the Kleenex

I feel...: not a drop of energy left...
Jammin' to: My Chemical Romance *Our Lady of Sorrows*
K, well...still nothing really to report, so I'm just gonna do what I do best and ramble a bit.
I'm gonna be totally depressed tonight, by bestest friend in the history of the world (part two) graduates tonight and I'm not gonna see her again 'til her gradumation party on Sunday, but after that, who knows? It really sucks 'cause she and I are really close, I mean, she knows more about me than anyone, and I know a lot about her (I won't presume to know more about her than anyone, I dunno who else she's used as a therapist), and she's like my psych and I use her as a sounding board for story ideas, and to figure out my problems ('cause Lord knows I've got problems...)...I'm really gonna miss you lady.
And for those who don't know who I'm talking about...she's none other than Meddy dahling, man she and I've been tight this year. It all started when my mom and I were having a few issues...I kinda vented to her a lot, even though we were like just friends, like barely friends...then we got to trusting each other more, then at the height of my craving for the stage she became my confidant. She was the only one to know just how bad I wanted to be somebody else for a while (still do, come to that), and we just got tighter and tighter from there. I began to trust her with more and more, and I mean stuff that I'd never told anyone before (and some I still haven't...and don't plan to 'til I get over one of my biggest problems...it's a judgement complex, 'case you didn't know), and she even knows about a very serious (though not at the moment) problem of mine...don't ask, I'm not telling, I only told her because I thought I'd figured out why I wanted to be the kind of character on stage that I do (if that made any sense) and I told her what I thought it was, and she said this little *unidentified* problem as a joke in response to the definition I'd given her, and I said, "Well, actually, yeah..." and she was just like "Holy shit..." but we're getting through it...I hope...won't know for a while, at any rate...all I know is that it isn't worth the stress to do it anymore, too much paranoia that comes...now, before I accidently spill, I'm gonna kinda change the subject. So she's felt obligated to share stuff with me, but I was like it's no big deal, really, no strings attached here...but she told me stuff anyway and I was like wow...but it's cool, I love her and I'm gonna miss her next year.
Meddy -- the best of luck in all you do, dahling. You kick serious ass and are one of the nicest people I know, the most trustworthy friend of mine, and I give you high praise for putting up with my family...lol. Stay true to you lady! You rock! As only the best (second) hottest guy said, "Be yourself, don't take anyone's [and I mean ANYONE] shit and never let them take you alive..." Don't you dare change, I'm likely to go postal on your ass if you do, and you don't wanna see Remus go postal...Well, this is basically the same thing I wrote in your yearbook, so I'm peacin'.
Love ya kid
That is all.
Peace out
Remus

*disclaimer*

I feel...: gahhhhh
Jammin' to: AFI *Miss Murder*
Hey losers long time no "see"...yeah, been kinda busy lately, shit for school, job hunting (but not really...lol), drama (not the stage kind either -- gahhhhhhhhhh), more shit for school...k, so I haven't been that busy, just haven't updated for a while...my apologies.
So yeah, this is just a simple "disclaimer" entry. See, I changed the title of my journal again, and I just wanna make sure it's clear...REMUS DOES NOT HAVE A CHEMICAL ROMANCE. I just like the band My Chemical Romance (and it's name) and I wanted to use it somehow for that, so...there you have it. That's basically the full story.
K well that's it. I'm peacin' homies.
Peace
Remus
PS. I discovered AFI as well...that lead singer guy is extremely hot...*yum*