The Muses...

Falling away with you?

More like

Falling away from you.

And frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

A Thought

One of us is Hamlet, the other Laertes.

Which is which?

A Point of Interest

Brits who visit America complain of England's stiffness, its need for politeness and always saying Please and Thank you, and wish England was more like America.

Yanks who visit England complain of America's road rage, its quick-to-anger citizens, its political correctness, and wish Americans were more like Brits.

What the hell is up with that, folks?

Freee!

Yes!

With three Es!

I dropped all that moaping business. Can't have a fun and productive summer with me wearing it like a corset.

平和

Je ne sais plus...

I hate always feeling like I'm coming in second place. I'll be the first to say that there are plenty of ways I could change this, but please, let me rant. I've always felt second-best, if not further back. My cousins all know/knew what they want/ed to do in life - pastor, theatre management, film producer. All did/are doing well in school, if only well enough to get by. All have their own unique strong points. I have no idea what I want to do with my life, it changes with my mood and the time of day - history teacher, language teacher, even pastor on occasion, writer, actor (yes, I scoff too). I don't think I'm getting by anymore. My strong points end up overshadowed by everyone else's - even by my best mate's. She know where she's going - music teacher. She frets over not getting straight-four-points. Her voice is more trained than mine (even if I don't personally like the sound of it, I can appreciate the technique), she's acted in bigger and better parts than I, she can play guitar (and piano and stand-up bass and...), she speaks Japanese better than I, she takes expressions and gestures from me and gets the credit for them...! I am fully incapable of life, it would seem. Clearly I can survive - I eat, drink, and breathe - but am I living? Is it living if all you do is try to scrape by society's demands but don't enjoy the process? It's something of a theme I've harped on before, the competition/lack of acknowledgement. I'm big on easy solutions to problems, and the issue is that there is no easy fix. It's all a neverending cycle. Maybe if I'd speak up for myself...no, it would then seem I'm taking someone else's glory. Others have tried to push me into the spotlight, Lord knows, plenty of times - I fight it, though. I cannot be the centre of attention, I cannot abide getting due credit. And yet, when I don't, it stings. Something in me craves it; another part of me denies it. My optimism extends to the far reaches of the planet, but my pessimism is concentrated in a small cloud constantly over my head. I'm not sure how to get out from under it, but I feel confident that once I have achieved that, I can achieve anything. I'm staring in disbelief at a great solid wall...will it be easier to climb it, go around it, or shove my way through it?

Why does the acting bug only ever bite when I have no chance for an outlet?

Questions That Pop Into My Head

What must George McFly have thought when Star Trek - and Mr Spock - appeared in 1966?

Why do Catholic women find it necessary to become nuns after a certain age? Doesn't that go against the great commission of going forth and having as many little Catholics as possible?

Note: This post will likely be bumped and added to from time, so don't be surprised to see it again. 平和

The Last Hurrah

Something's up, doc.

Not sure what it is...

Anxiety attack?

Nerves?

Fatigue?

What?

The argument for a panic attack is strong - 

I just want to run.

I want to get away...

I wanna fly away.

What would I be nervous of?

I've had two days of repose.

Or...

Is it that I'm seeing something in someone I love

That I don't like?

How could that be the issue?

There are plenty of things I don't like about loved ones.

So why is this different?

Have I changed?

Or have you?

...I meant Gandhi.

Laundry day
See you there
Under things
Tumbling
Wanna say
Love your hair
Here I go
Mumbling

With my freeze ray I will stop the world
With my freeze ray I will
find the time to find the words to

Tell you how
How you make
Make me feel
What’s the phrase?
Like a fool
Kinda sick
Special needs
Anyways

With my freeze ray I will stop the pain
It’s not a death ray or an ice beam
That’s all Johnny Snow
I just think you need time to know
That I’m the guy to make it real
The feelings you don’t dare to feel
I’ll bend the world to our will
And we’ll make time stand still

That’s the plan
Rule the world
You and me
Any day
Love your hair

PENNY
What?

HORRIBLE
No - I... love the... air...
Anyway
With my freeze ray I will stop
~Neil Patrick Harris, My Freeze Ray, Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

Yeah, more lyrics. Deal.

I get to pack later today, once my sleepover roomie leaves...such a daunting task. I think I'm just sick of packing, unpacking, and trying to locate stuff in boxes. Life might be like that for a while yet, don't know yet. I hate uncertainty. I create it for myself by second-guessing myself, then when I can finally get over that in some circumstance life throws it back at me. Some days I'm not sure how keen I am on this game called life, but don't let that fool you. I'll keep on truckin', even if I don't like it all that much. I'm too stubborn not too.

I finally saw Firefly and Serenity this week. Rocked my world, just so you know. Check it out. Tell your friends. Between that and Dr Horrible, Joss Whedon's pretty shiny.

I might have to kick my guest out if I want to accomplish anything today.

平和

Remus

An Epiphany and a Question

So...if I like actors because of the characters they play...why can't I find anyone like those characters in reality?

DONE.

Couple quick things

We have a brand-spanking-new-used van. Or we will when it comes up from Ohio this weekend.

I've already checked out for the semester. Not good.

I'm a bit slaphappy.

Stand back, everyone, nothing here to see...just imminent danger, and in the middle of it - ME!

Yeah.

平和 

Remus

PS My roomie and I've decided to rewatch Dr Horrible before buckling down on work...yes we're obsessed. What of it?

What a Crazy Random Happenstance

Here lies everything
The world I wanted at my feet
My victory’s complete
So hail to the king
(Everything you ever…)
Arise and sing

So your world’s benign
So you think justice has a voice
And we all have a choice
Well now your world is mine
(Everything you ever…)
And I am fine

Now the nightmare’s real
Now Dr. Horrible is here
To make you quake with fear
To make the whole world kneel
(Everything you ever…)
And I won’t feel
A thing
~Neil Patrick Harris, Everything You Ever, Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

Just posting what's stuck in my head...

平和

Remus

You're Driving a Spork Into Your Leg

HORRIBLE
Any dolt with half a brain
Can see that humankind has gone insane
To the point where I don’t know
If I’ll upset the status quo
If I throw poison in the water main

Listen close to everybody’s heart
And hear that breaking sound
Hopes and dreams are shattering apart
And crashing to the ground

I cannot believe my eyes
How the world’s filled with filth and lies
But it’s plain to see
Evil inside of me is on the rise

PENNY
Look around
We’re living with the lost and found
Just when you feel you’ve almost drowned
You find yourself on solid ground
And you believe

There’s good in everybody’s heart
Keep it safe and sound
With hope, you can do your part
To turn a life around

I cannot believe my eyes
Is the world finally growing wise
‘Cause it seems to me
Some kind of harmony
Is on the rise

HORRIBLE (overlapping with Penny below)
Anyone with half a brain
Could spend their whole life howling in pain
‘Cause the dark is everywhere
And Penny doesn’t seem to care
That soon the dark in me is all that will remain

Listen close to everybody’s heart
And hear that breaking sound
Hopes and dreams are shattering apart
And crashing to the ground

I cannot believe my eyes
How the world’s filled with filth and lies
But it’s plain to see
Evil inside of me is on the rise

PENNY
Take it slow
He looks at me and seems to know
The things that I’m afraid to show
And suddenly I feel this glow
And I believe

There’s good in everybody’s heart
Keep it safe and sound
With hope, you can do your part
To turn a life around

I cannot believe my eyes
How the world’s finally growing wise
And it’s plain to see
Rapture inside of me is on the rise
~Neil Patrick Harris and Felicia Day, My Eyes, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

Yeah. I've discovered the amazingness that is that sing-along blog. I'm only about a year behind the times this time, so I like to think that means I'm improving. If you've not seen it, find a way. I also like "Brand New Day". Just sayin'.

In other news, I'm either getting sick or allergies are just trying to kill me.

平和 (...but not literally.)

Remus