Family - the group of people you love to hate

I just hope they're not surprised when I quit spending holidays with them.

Genealogy Meme

Blank meme from RevGalPals; found via CoffeePastor.

1. Do you have any interest in geneaology?

I'd be a pisspoor history major if I had none at all. I love it. It's sort of a recently discovered hobby; I'm pretty shoddy at it and if I go a full hour with absolutely nothing new, I give up for the night. But if I actually start finding new jumping-off points, I could go for several hours.

2. Which countries did your ancestors come from?

Germany, Canada (from France), one or two from Poland, and a few from Prussia.

3. Who is the farthest back ancestor whose name you know?

Julien Beaubien dit Cuillerier. He married a Julienne. Creativity runs in the family, ne?

4. Any favorite saints or sinners in the group?

Technically he's only an uncle (wayyyyy back), but that would definitely be Alexis Cuillerier - accused and acquitted of murder. I have no idea if he really did it.

5. What would you want your descendants to remember about you?

Just them remembering that I was around is good, because that means someone else is doing genealogy, and keeping that going would be really cool.

Bonus: a song, prayer, or poem that speaks of family--blood or chosen--to you.

I can't think of anything off the top of my head, of course. If I think of one or two, I'll edit this.

It's my blog, deal with it

After all the whinging I do around here, you must think I don't mean it. Clearly she doesn't want to change, since she hasn't yet. She keeps carrying on about it, but nothing ever happens.

I want to, mates. I need to. Every time I do something stupid and it comes around to kick me in the ass, the feeling of failure hits lower and lower, the bottom of my stomach falls further and further. Even now my heart is in my throat. I feel like I've been clamoring out of the hole I'm in, but haven't realised that I'm not making progress, only digging away further at the bottom. Maybe I think I'll find more success that way - I don't know. Clearly I don't. I want to succeed, I genuinely do. Not only will I feel better about myself, I'll actually enjoy life. It won't be this horrible, arduous task that I have no choice but to muddle through.

Now that I've left this entry for twenty minutes to calm down a bit, I've developed the beginnings of a plan for success next year. I'll be living in a house, so there will be a couple more options of places to go without actually leaving. Also, over summer (as I hopefully take classes at a local college) I'll work on committing to success and keeping that goal in the forefront of my mind. I think I'll see about looking up motivators (since I've yet to find any that actually work).

Whatever needs to click hasn't clicked yet. It'll be really great when it does. My feet are getting heavy with lead from all the times I've metaphorically shot myself. Time for yet another new mantra...

I will do it next semester. I will achieve academic success. I will. I will. I will. Hell.

I must.

平和

Remus

Finally

The day has come where I can tell you that I've actually had both the wines in the blog title.

Honestly, I'm not a big fan of either or them. But in their defence, I only had cheap versions.

The champagne was a couple New Years ago, and I was unimpressed. Actually it was sparkling white wine, probably out of California. I have no idea. Meh.

I'm enjoying some reallllly cheap chardonnay as I type. And I mean cheap - it's a step down from boxed wine. The container it's in is reminiscent of the soy milk boxes you can get at Starbucks. I won't call it bad in terms of taste, but it is definitely bad. We opened the bottle-box and could smell it.

Once I can actually go into a store and buy this stuff for myself (shhhhh) I'll try some of the good stuff. Or at least better.

平和

Remus