I think I've had a breakthrough...

I feel...: dorky
Jammin' to: Linkin Park *Numb*
Yeah, just a little one though...not really a breakthrough, come to that...just a realisation really...
Anywho, here we go...
So I realised today, in the Concert Choir final, that despite my low self-esteem and opinion of myself (and everyone else's), I realised that maybe I'm not half so hated or disliked as I thought I was. I mean, I just assumed that everyone hated me. But then, for my CC final, I started with, "Well, I'm [Remus] and I'll be doing My Chemical Romance's 'Drowning Lessons.' And I know that I'm not supposed to do this but I apologise -- I've got a cold for like the millionth time this year and I have no idea what I'm gonna sound like, so bear with me." All silent. So Doyle starts the song, and I start singing (pleasantly surprised but not that it's in my head voice, I mean it didn't sound too bad to me, but I'd practised in mixed and I'd liked how it sounded). So I forget some of the words in the bridge kinda thing and get all embarassed but I remembered what came next so it was all good. So after the last "Without a sound, and I wish you away," I'm like, "K, that's basically it, it just fades at this point," so as he's turning it off, the class started clapping and doing those strange wooooo things girls do (it's an all-girls choir, did I mention that?) and I just kinda was like to myself, "Okay then, that's kinda weird," and to Doyle I was like, "That was the longest four minutes of my life," and he just laughed and said, "You did good," and I was like again to myself, "K, this is really weird...they're clapping and woooooing like I never woulda guessed or expected, and Doyle's giving me a compliment...alrighty then," and it was kinda cool. I just didn't expect it, and if you were there and are reading this *cough*Meddy*cough*, here's my little disclaimer thing:
Um, yeah, this probably sounds all stuck up, like, "Yay me! I got applause! All love me!" but it's not meant that way, not at all. It's meant to be an honest...I dunno, there's a word for it...kinda like just a little thing to say, "Hey, this little thing you lot did meant a lot to me, thank you, and my self-esteem thanks you too." That kind of thing, like a thank-you note thing. Also something that needs to be included in this little disclaimer is that my imagination may have changed something(s). I honestly don't know -- how could I, come to that, know whatever (if any) embellishment my imagination's added is all that I remember? My memory sucks anyway, so who knows? Well, if you were there, feel free to comment and set me straight, I'd appreciate that too. Even if it means I've totally deluded myself (always a possibility with me) go for it...either way, I'd rather remember the truth than this fun little uplifting (on my part anyway) anecdote.
K, so that's it. I'm done now. Kinda sad, that it's taken me an hour to type all this. But then, I was watching "Notting Hill," at the same time, so I guess it kinda makes sense. Just kinda though.
Peace
Remus