I Regret to Inform You: We Really Did Just Have This Conversation.

Italics: me
Boldface: Charlotte-chan

dear ms former nazi:
i've decided this assignment sucks. so does the professor. i'm glad he's an adjunct.
sincerely,
an unsatisfied customer
ps. i think the assignment would have sucked even if i'd done most of the work ahead of time.

dear customer,
i've found most adjucts suck. their assignments also suck. we only have to suck it up for the rest of this semester, then it will all be over.
sincerely,
a formless void of useless information

dear void:
if adjuncts suck so, why do colleges hire them?
sincerely,
procrastinator extraordinaire

dear procrastinator,
the colleges hire adjuncts so as to avoid the need to blow unneccesary money out their asses. both have the same effect, except that the latter results in more paper cuts.
sincerely,
someone who pays ridiculously ludicrous amounts of money to go to a school that barely keeps up with state universities

dear ludicrous:
if they're blowing unnecessary money out their asses, why not blow it on decent adjuncts?
sincerely,
straw-grasper

dear grasper:
shit

dear failure...

dear grasper:
do such adjuncts exist? if so, please be so kind as to send them in a SASE a.s.a.p.
sincerely,
a non-believer (shuuuunnnnnnn)

dear shunned:
why must it be a sase if you're the one who wants them? and shouldn't i forward them to the school?
sincerely,
dazed and confused
ps. why are we still talking like this?

dear dazed:
you're the one who wanted them so fucking bad.
sincerely,
the board
p.s. because it kinda reminds me of monty python letters.... and it makes me laugh >_>

dear easily amused:
i only want good adjuncts if there need be adjuncts at all.
sincerely,
eric praline

dear ice cream:
take it up with someone who cares.
sincerely,
bitchy and apathetic

dear bitch:
*sniff* i thought you cared...
sincerely,
saddened by your indifference

dear pathetic lowling:
why would you think something like that? in fact, why bother trying to think at all?
not-so-sincerely,
CEO
p.s. in no way to be taken seriously.
sincerely,
charlotte who feels like a bitch even though it wasn't real.... *sigh*

dear whoever the fuck you are:
i like that you referenced you've got mail, even if you didn't mean it.
sincerely,
overthinking movie geek
ps. don't lose any sleep over it.

thanks
i didn't mean it
but now i wanna know what it is

toward the end when they become friends, he asks her if she's asked ny152 if he's married, so she does, and his response is all 'am i married? what kind of a question is that? don't you know me at all? oh wait - i get it. your friends are telling you the reason we haven't met is that i'm married. is that it?'
it brought that to mind is all