This is What I Wrote, Here's the Very Note

This is the six-page monstrosity I wrote a few months back...Yup, finally typing it up. So here 'tis.

2009年7月30日

4時ぐらい

Because this is so unfamiliar a feeling - not really. I want to write, even if it's just some silliness that barely has a plot, or is characterization, or...what have you. I just need pen to paper in a non-depressing capacity. No really. I'm gonna try starting to free-associate, and see what comes of it. Maybe I'll get a non-depressing story out of it...?

I just tried to get rid of an inkblot by swatting at it. Isn't it ridiculous how the human mind will do that? See something that's not right and try to fix it, only to be proven wrong? Cats sure have it easy - sleep, eat, bathe, sleep, get high on catnip, sleep, play with the humans, sleep, eat, get high, repeat. Human lives are so complicated, and it's all our own fault, really. But that's getting into philosophical, psychological bullshit, isn't it? All of a sudden my writing's very large, maybe my hand snuck some Viagra? Oh no, it tells me now that it was Cialis. All Greek to me, a Greek kid graduated from [my school] this last year, no one knew how to say his name right two times in a row. It kinda sounded like chutzpah, or at least looked like it. I tried to find [one of my former teachers] on Facebook today, no luck, I think. He taught me chess, and the phrase 'incessant caterwauling.' I don't think I spell it right but that's ok, I don't usually write it, only say it. [That year] is also when I learned that ICP meant not 'I see pee' but 'Insane Clown Posse', I heard one of their songs later, 'The Dating Game', I liked it, haven't heard it in years. [My best friend at the time] first played it for me, she was probably my first best friend, not counting [two friends from where I grew up], I'd forgotten about them. Man it's been years since I saw them, not since [one of them] moved, wow. But back to [my best friend], I went to elementary school with her, I don't remember meeting her, but I don't remember meeting a lot of people, even as recently as [my fellow Mousquetaires], although apparently they remember meeting me, I guess I'm memorable or something, I don't know, memory's a weird thing, isn't it? I mean, some things sit right there, waiting to be seen and other things sink to the bottom, waiting to be dredged back up to the light of day. Supposedly free-associating can dredge up those 'lost' memories, but ten minutes in all I've got is [the two early friends] and some really sloppy writing to show for it. Ah well. Maybe I just don't have anything interesting that I can't remember at will. Someone's smoking outside, and I'm beginning to think that all the craving I've done these past few months has all been in my head, because since I've been home, I haven't really craved, even at school I haven't truly craved since probably January. Good thing I guess, between my lack of income and OCD I'd become addicted good and quick. My writing has gone from sloppy to downright appalling, my spelling's really beginning to suffer. Olga's...what do I usually get? I don't even know, it's been so long since I've been there I reckon it was November, how things will change. In case you couldn't tell my concentration was broken, let's try again in a few minutes, shall we?

~~~~~

That was the first try; only two pages written...The rest is four pages (two sheets front and back), I'll type that up for tomorrow. I figured breaking it up would make it easier to read, so...yeah. Part deux is on its way.

平和

Remus