I feel...: not living -- just existing
Jammin' to: MCR *Our Lady of Sorrows*
Which I refuse to join, by the way...I wanna be the only one in my generation to not have one...
Anyway, to the survey...
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Birthday: 30.11.1989 (yes that makes sense...)
Birthplace: a hospital
Current Location: a house
Eye Color: green i think...haven't looked lately
Hair Color: lightish darkish brown...depends on the lighting wherever i am
Height: um...like 5'6", maybe taller
Right Handed or Left Handed: what does it matter? my writing's illegible either way
Your Heritage: French, Irish, Native American, German, and Dutch...that's all i know of
The Shoes You Wore Today: none
Your Weakness: um...if you really wanna know..."ask and ye shall recieve"
Your Fears: see "Your Weakness"
Your Perfect Pizza: deep dish pepperoni from either pizzapapolis or buddy's
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: first kiss *blushes* on a moonlit beach to Taking Back Sunday's "New American Classic"...God i'm such a romantic
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: lol
Thoughts First Waking Up: what the hell...?
Your Best Physical Feature: do i have one?
Your Bedtime: whenever i go to bed
Your Most Missed Memory: um...what?
Pepsi or Coke: to drink? pepsi...to snort, coke...'cept when i get ice cubes stuck in my nose, that is...jk...i love that joke...
MacDonalds or Burger King: mcdonald's, duh...and spell it right next time
Single or Group Dates: dunno, never had one...probably single though
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton all the way
Chocolate or Vanilla: depends
Cappuccino or Coffee: cappuccino
Do you Smoke: some days it sounds good, but never have and never will
Do you Swear: fuck no
Do you Sing: yup
Do you Shower Daily: every other day, yeah
Have you Been in Love: ...perhaps...
Do you want to go to College: of course
Do you want to get Married: eventually
Do you belive in yourself: not really
Do you get Motion Sickness: sometimes
Do you think you are Attractive: um...see "Do you Swear"
Are you a Health Freak: see "Do you think you are Attractive"
Do you get along with your Parents: for the most part...
Do you like Thunderstorms: see "Are you a Health Freak"
Do you play an Instrument: used to play violin...gave up
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: no
In the past month have you Smoked: no
In the past month have you been on Drugs: no
In the past month have you gone on a Date: unfortunately no
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: think so, don't remember
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: nope
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: ew...NO...fish is bad enough, but raw...?
In the past month have you been on Stage: i wish
In the past month have you been Dumped: in order to be dumped, one first needs a boyfriend
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: hell no, it'd scare too many people
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: no
Ever been Drunk: i wish
Ever been called a Tease: um...don't believe so
Ever been Beaten up: no...just a matter of time though i'm sure
Ever Shoplifted: when i was like seven and didn't realise that taking a couple marbles that had fallen out of the bag qualified as stealing, i just thought they were free
How do you want to Die: quick and painless...preferably in my sleep...though i don't think i'd say no to more than a little pain...pain is tres bien...*looks around nervously* did i say that out loud?
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: grow up? the hell with that...when i get older, however, i'd love to be an actress...lots of money for something i love? lemme at it
What country would you most like to Visit: hmm...either france, england, or scotland...maybe japan...
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: don't care
Favourite Hair Color: doesn't matter to me
Short or Long Hair: long...length depends on the guy though
Height: same height or taller than me
Weight: what difference does it make?
Best Clothing Style: no pink
Number of Drugs I have taken: lots of acetamenophin (sp?), ibuprofen, aspirin, benadryl, and pseudoephedrine for various ills
Number of CDs I own: um...too many, but not enough...does that make sense?
Number of Piercings: two -- in my ears...wouldn't mind a nose piercing though
Number of Tattoos: none...but again, subject to change
Number of things in my Past I Regret: not sure...maybe if i thought about it i could think of something...let's just say...info on request
(There should be "official" buttons and stuff here, but if I left it, it screwed up my journal format...so the survey can be found here: http://www.kwiz.biz/simplesurveys/do-survey.php)
Yeah. So there you have it.
Peace homies
That is all.
Remus
4.5.06
this is strange...
I feel...: pensive
Jammin' to: none, for once in my life
I feel like updating, but I don't know why. Something keeps telling me, "Write in your journal...write in your journal..." so I'm like, "Why? There's nothing I would put there that I haven't already said," but I got tired of the voices, so I poked them with a Q-tip and surrendered. So I'm just gonna write till my heart's content.
Um...just downloading spyware, trying to get my compy to work faster...but technology hates me, so it just said that a required file could not be found, and it stopped...my MCR obsession has slowed a bit, but I really think my life's changed for the better having re-discovered them...speaking of life changing for the better, my friend from camp said that if he had the chance he'd like to go out with me -- i've been on cloud nine ever since...except when i returned to my normal cloud negative three...i really like this guy, i can't even explain it, and i'm gonna feel horrible if i find out later that he read this entry...i hate embarassment, but doesn't everyone? it's terrible...but i can't help feeling like i'm due for a miracle i'm waiting for a sign and i'll stare straight into the sun and i won't close my eyes till i understand or go blind...it's amazing how music can be such an outlet, how it can take all your emotion and just kind of siphon it out of you, then release it into the void so you never have to deal with it again, that's what i like about loud rock music, strange coming from an introvert but there you are...i don't wanna be in love, i wanna be in love in a movie...why do fools fall in love?...why are all the best guys taken?...why do teenagers hate their parents?...why do people feel better when we talk about stuff?...why do we have to share every little thing that happens in our existence with each other?...why does technology hate me?...i still don't know why the voices are telling me to update, but they haven't shut up yet either...why do we have little voices in our heads that tell us what to do? i mean, what is that? and how can we hear our thoughts?...why do human beings need each other so much? why do we crave friendships and relationships? how can we be so different? how can we hate each other so much? how can we inflict the pain that we do?...why am i flushed right now? i can feel the heat filling my face...why do our feelings embarass us? like why do we want a relationship with someone so bad that we feel like we'll just explode if we don't get it, and then when the someone finds out about our desires we'd love nothing more than to disappear because of our embarassment?...how can one little person, sitting at home with a compy in her lap that hates her, put so many questions into the void at one time?...why do i like the guy in iowa? why?? if you figure it out lemme know, i've been trying to figure it out for a long time...why are we afraid of bugs? we really are, there was a bee in our math class and we were all cowering from it every time it came close. i mean, it's just a bee! a little one-inch long lifeform, what is there to be afraid of?...has anyone figured out why i'm blushing yet? no? keep working on it please...why do i want to go to france so bad? that's another thing i want so bad it hurts, can't i just hide in jacqueline's suitcase?...why does the human race give a handful of people total control over every little aspect of their lives? only a small percentage tell us what to do, how to do it, why we should, what happens if we don't do it their way, i mean why is that? it's like the bon jovi song says: it's my life it's now or never i ain't gonna live forever...how can niagara falls make itself stop? yeah, i know about erosion and stuff, but if it keeps receding it shouldn't stop, it should just keep falling, right?...why are cats so cute? and loyal? and why don't they like dogs? and vice versa?...why can't we give cats human food? why is that such a big deal?...who had so much time on their hands to figure out that two plus two equaled four? why did they care so much? and why does it equal four?...why is education important? again, it all comes back to that handful of people. and why does that same handful get to decide what's cool? if something's cool to you, who cares what everyone else thinks?...who sat there and named everything? "i think this is a shoe, and that's a sock..." i mean honestly...who decided that such a natural thing as sex was bad?...why are men from mars and women from venus? why aren't we from mars instead?...why to men think women are weak and not their equal? if anything, we're better than they are...do advertising companies think the public is stupid?...how did we elect someone to the presidency that can't speak english?...why is the dark side of human nature shunned, frowned upon? like if someone has some strange fascination with violence against weaker human beings, she can't talk about it for fear of what others will think of her? she can't even tell her counselor at school for fear of judgement...why do we women think that british and australian and scottish and irish accents are sexy?...why do we have to be politically correct? why don't people just get a sense of humor and get over it?...why do have incredible respect for actors who can convey amazing emotion? like in phantom of the opera, i gained an incredible respect for gerard butler just because he can convincingly convey a tortured soul with a torturedpast...why do the good die young?...why are chicken noodles so good?...how have we become our own worst enemy?...why is the sky blue? why not call the same color green or purple or orange?...why have i, increasingly recently, wanted to get into a fight with someone? i guess i just need to let off some steam or something...why do opposites attract?...why does abuse of any kind fascinate me?...how can the human mind think so many things at one time?...who decides what beautiful is?...why do we get deja vu? and what does it suggest? are we all psychics and don't know it? do we dream of how our lives will go when we're still in the womb, and so every once in a while we remember a part of the dream because it's happening?...how can edgar degas -- who lived a hundred years ago -- look like my crush in iowa? their faces are almost exactly the same, except mr iowa's nose isn't as long...why do i like guys with long hair? so much so that when i find out they've got it cut, i get all pissed at them? what the hell? it'll grow back eventually...who decides what's crazy? if you get right down to it, aren't we all a little crazy? and add?...why do we need entertainment? be it music, books, movies, tv shows, plays, musicals...why do we have to eat other living things to survive?...why do we feel the need to destroy everything in our path? and everyone?...who decides what's important in life? shouldn't we be able to decide that by ourselves, based on our feelings and personalities?...why do we let pain get to us? why does it affect our judgement like it does?...who had enough time on their hands to pull some leaves off a plant, break them up, let them stew in water, and drink it and yell "i've created tea!"? and who pulled a leaf off a marajuana plant and said "i wonder what will happen if i set fire to this, stick it in my mouth, and inhale?" or "let's see if we add sugar to this stuff coming out of the tree tastes good on pancakes?" who honestly has that much time?...i think i asked this already, but i don't care: how can humans be so attached to each other? how can they have such strong feelings for a fellow human being that they know no other way to express it but to cry? and why is it so embarassing to show how we truly feel? is it that whole judgement thing again? why do we feel scared? considering we have nothing to fear except fear itself, it's a pretty lame emotion...and why haven't i figured out why i wanted to update? at least, i don't think i've figured it out...
This is ridiculous.
I need some rest now.
Peace homies.
That is all.
Remus
Jammin' to: none, for once in my life
I feel like updating, but I don't know why. Something keeps telling me, "Write in your journal...write in your journal..." so I'm like, "Why? There's nothing I would put there that I haven't already said," but I got tired of the voices, so I poked them with a Q-tip and surrendered. So I'm just gonna write till my heart's content.
Um...just downloading spyware, trying to get my compy to work faster...but technology hates me, so it just said that a required file could not be found, and it stopped...my MCR obsession has slowed a bit, but I really think my life's changed for the better having re-discovered them...speaking of life changing for the better, my friend from camp said that if he had the chance he'd like to go out with me -- i've been on cloud nine ever since...except when i returned to my normal cloud negative three...i really like this guy, i can't even explain it, and i'm gonna feel horrible if i find out later that he read this entry...i hate embarassment, but doesn't everyone? it's terrible...but i can't help feeling like i'm due for a miracle i'm waiting for a sign and i'll stare straight into the sun and i won't close my eyes till i understand or go blind...it's amazing how music can be such an outlet, how it can take all your emotion and just kind of siphon it out of you, then release it into the void so you never have to deal with it again, that's what i like about loud rock music, strange coming from an introvert but there you are...i don't wanna be in love, i wanna be in love in a movie...why do fools fall in love?...why are all the best guys taken?...why do teenagers hate their parents?...why do people feel better when we talk about stuff?...why do we have to share every little thing that happens in our existence with each other?...why does technology hate me?...i still don't know why the voices are telling me to update, but they haven't shut up yet either...why do we have little voices in our heads that tell us what to do? i mean, what is that? and how can we hear our thoughts?...why do human beings need each other so much? why do we crave friendships and relationships? how can we be so different? how can we hate each other so much? how can we inflict the pain that we do?...why am i flushed right now? i can feel the heat filling my face...why do our feelings embarass us? like why do we want a relationship with someone so bad that we feel like we'll just explode if we don't get it, and then when the someone finds out about our desires we'd love nothing more than to disappear because of our embarassment?...how can one little person, sitting at home with a compy in her lap that hates her, put so many questions into the void at one time?...why do i like the guy in iowa? why?? if you figure it out lemme know, i've been trying to figure it out for a long time...why are we afraid of bugs? we really are, there was a bee in our math class and we were all cowering from it every time it came close. i mean, it's just a bee! a little one-inch long lifeform, what is there to be afraid of?...has anyone figured out why i'm blushing yet? no? keep working on it please...why do i want to go to france so bad? that's another thing i want so bad it hurts, can't i just hide in jacqueline's suitcase?...why does the human race give a handful of people total control over every little aspect of their lives? only a small percentage tell us what to do, how to do it, why we should, what happens if we don't do it their way, i mean why is that? it's like the bon jovi song says: it's my life it's now or never i ain't gonna live forever...how can niagara falls make itself stop? yeah, i know about erosion and stuff, but if it keeps receding it shouldn't stop, it should just keep falling, right?...why are cats so cute? and loyal? and why don't they like dogs? and vice versa?...why can't we give cats human food? why is that such a big deal?...who had so much time on their hands to figure out that two plus two equaled four? why did they care so much? and why does it equal four?...why is education important? again, it all comes back to that handful of people. and why does that same handful get to decide what's cool? if something's cool to you, who cares what everyone else thinks?...who sat there and named everything? "i think this is a shoe, and that's a sock..." i mean honestly...who decided that such a natural thing as sex was bad?...why are men from mars and women from venus? why aren't we from mars instead?...why to men think women are weak and not their equal? if anything, we're better than they are...do advertising companies think the public is stupid?...how did we elect someone to the presidency that can't speak english?...why is the dark side of human nature shunned, frowned upon? like if someone has some strange fascination with violence against weaker human beings, she can't talk about it for fear of what others will think of her? she can't even tell her counselor at school for fear of judgement...why do we women think that british and australian and scottish and irish accents are sexy?...why do we have to be politically correct? why don't people just get a sense of humor and get over it?...why do have incredible respect for actors who can convey amazing emotion? like in phantom of the opera, i gained an incredible respect for gerard butler just because he can convincingly convey a tortured soul with a torturedpast...why do the good die young?...why are chicken noodles so good?...how have we become our own worst enemy?...why is the sky blue? why not call the same color green or purple or orange?...why have i, increasingly recently, wanted to get into a fight with someone? i guess i just need to let off some steam or something...why do opposites attract?...why does abuse of any kind fascinate me?...how can the human mind think so many things at one time?...who decides what beautiful is?...why do we get deja vu? and what does it suggest? are we all psychics and don't know it? do we dream of how our lives will go when we're still in the womb, and so every once in a while we remember a part of the dream because it's happening?...how can edgar degas -- who lived a hundred years ago -- look like my crush in iowa? their faces are almost exactly the same, except mr iowa's nose isn't as long...why do i like guys with long hair? so much so that when i find out they've got it cut, i get all pissed at them? what the hell? it'll grow back eventually...who decides what's crazy? if you get right down to it, aren't we all a little crazy? and add?...why do we need entertainment? be it music, books, movies, tv shows, plays, musicals...why do we have to eat other living things to survive?...why do we feel the need to destroy everything in our path? and everyone?...who decides what's important in life? shouldn't we be able to decide that by ourselves, based on our feelings and personalities?...why do we let pain get to us? why does it affect our judgement like it does?...who had enough time on their hands to pull some leaves off a plant, break them up, let them stew in water, and drink it and yell "i've created tea!"? and who pulled a leaf off a marajuana plant and said "i wonder what will happen if i set fire to this, stick it in my mouth, and inhale?" or "let's see if we add sugar to this stuff coming out of the tree tastes good on pancakes?" who honestly has that much time?...i think i asked this already, but i don't care: how can humans be so attached to each other? how can they have such strong feelings for a fellow human being that they know no other way to express it but to cry? and why is it so embarassing to show how we truly feel? is it that whole judgement thing again? why do we feel scared? considering we have nothing to fear except fear itself, it's a pretty lame emotion...and why haven't i figured out why i wanted to update? at least, i don't think i've figured it out...
This is ridiculous.
I need some rest now.
Peace homies.
That is all.
Remus
2.5.06
Who Wants to be a Writer? Now playing for $1 million, we have Remus...and now the question...
I feel...: artistic
Jammin' to: MCR *Our Lady of Sorrows*
K, I totally had a reason for updating, but I'll be damned if I can remember why...OH, I remember!
Yeah, I'm gonna write a book about this last school year. I won't have the money to go get it published and stuff, but I'm gonna make it look nice and just give it to friends. Gonna be lame, sure -- if you've never met me. Even if I'm the only one to ever have a copy, it'll be fun to find in the attic in thirty years...
I can see it now...*thinks* Hey, what's this box here? *opens it* What the -- *pulls out small stack of papers* Hey, I remember this! *reads* Wow... what th- did I really do that? Did those people really come from my mind? Damn...
So yeah. That's what I'm doing.
And now I'm done here for now.
Peace kids.
That is all.
Remus
Jammin' to: MCR *Our Lady of Sorrows*
K, I totally had a reason for updating, but I'll be damned if I can remember why...OH, I remember!
Yeah, I'm gonna write a book about this last school year. I won't have the money to go get it published and stuff, but I'm gonna make it look nice and just give it to friends. Gonna be lame, sure -- if you've never met me. Even if I'm the only one to ever have a copy, it'll be fun to find in the attic in thirty years...
I can see it now...*thinks* Hey, what's this box here? *opens it* What the -- *pulls out small stack of papers* Hey, I remember this! *reads* Wow... what th- did I really do that? Did those people really come from my mind? Damn...
So yeah. That's what I'm doing.
And now I'm done here for now.
Peace kids.
That is all.
Remus
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