Back to Brandon.
Apparently I'm not truly over him. I've noticed it before, but tried to ignore it. I still love the guy. A lot. Man I suck. I kept thinking about him Saturday night (I got left to my thoughts - that's bad), and it was pretty pathetic. Then I dreamt about him last night. We were at church, and I knew he was coming, so I kept watching for him. Well, I finally found him. Sitting next to Martha. I know I say a lot that if that's the way he chooses to go, c'est la vie. I think I could deal...not happily, but I could live. Which I guess says something about me...though I'm not sure what.
This is a pretty lame entry. It could have been better except for the part where I have class in ten minutes. Urgh.
Hopefully I'll be fully engaged in class! If not...yikes.
4 comments:
Hokay. So. here i go at pretending to actually know something again lol. This is just a sort-of outsider's opinion, but I think you're always going to have at least a little bit of feelings for him. I mean, you're good friends, he was(/is?) a major crush of yours, and you know tons of shit about each other. there's bound to be some feelings in there. i mean, come on now, we're females. lol. My best advice would be to give it time, I guess. There's someone out there who will be perfect for you, and you will find him/ discover that you've known him your whole life and are just now realizing how great he is... with a bit of time. you have plenty of time left remus. let things fall into place... i know they will.
urgh. i hate that "you've got plenty of time" bit.
i should wait, but i'm too damn selfish. i want it now, dammit! i've wanted a relationship for years, i can actually remember the exact instant it hit me...and the fact that i came so close to having that kills me.
argh.
tell me about it. life sucks, donnit?
Good Lord, I was quite pathetic, wasn't I?
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