May God have Mercy on my Soul

The Wizarding World

Would that I were in Florida today...

I wish I knew why Harry Potter means so much to me. I hear the music and something just wells up inside me. I haven't the foggiest what it is or why. It's just...incredible.

I may or may not embellish this later, we'll see what happens.

Family - the group of people you love to hate

I just hope they're not surprised when I quit spending holidays with them.

Genealogy Meme

Blank meme from RevGalPals; found via CoffeePastor.

1. Do you have any interest in geneaology?

I'd be a pisspoor history major if I had none at all. I love it. It's sort of a recently discovered hobby; I'm pretty shoddy at it and if I go a full hour with absolutely nothing new, I give up for the night. But if I actually start finding new jumping-off points, I could go for several hours.

2. Which countries did your ancestors come from?

Germany, Canada (from France), one or two from Poland, and a few from Prussia.

3. Who is the farthest back ancestor whose name you know?

Julien Beaubien dit Cuillerier. He married a Julienne. Creativity runs in the family, ne?

4. Any favorite saints or sinners in the group?

Technically he's only an uncle (wayyyyy back), but that would definitely be Alexis Cuillerier - accused and acquitted of murder. I have no idea if he really did it.

5. What would you want your descendants to remember about you?

Just them remembering that I was around is good, because that means someone else is doing genealogy, and keeping that going would be really cool.

Bonus: a song, prayer, or poem that speaks of family--blood or chosen--to you.

I can't think of anything off the top of my head, of course. If I think of one or two, I'll edit this.

It's my blog, deal with it

After all the whinging I do around here, you must think I don't mean it. Clearly she doesn't want to change, since she hasn't yet. She keeps carrying on about it, but nothing ever happens.

I want to, mates. I need to. Every time I do something stupid and it comes around to kick me in the ass, the feeling of failure hits lower and lower, the bottom of my stomach falls further and further. Even now my heart is in my throat. I feel like I've been clamoring out of the hole I'm in, but haven't realised that I'm not making progress, only digging away further at the bottom. Maybe I think I'll find more success that way - I don't know. Clearly I don't. I want to succeed, I genuinely do. Not only will I feel better about myself, I'll actually enjoy life. It won't be this horrible, arduous task that I have no choice but to muddle through.

Now that I've left this entry for twenty minutes to calm down a bit, I've developed the beginnings of a plan for success next year. I'll be living in a house, so there will be a couple more options of places to go without actually leaving. Also, over summer (as I hopefully take classes at a local college) I'll work on committing to success and keeping that goal in the forefront of my mind. I think I'll see about looking up motivators (since I've yet to find any that actually work).

Whatever needs to click hasn't clicked yet. It'll be really great when it does. My feet are getting heavy with lead from all the times I've metaphorically shot myself. Time for yet another new mantra...

I will do it next semester. I will achieve academic success. I will. I will. I will. Hell.

I must.

平和

Remus

Finally

The day has come where I can tell you that I've actually had both the wines in the blog title.

Honestly, I'm not a big fan of either or them. But in their defence, I only had cheap versions.

The champagne was a couple New Years ago, and I was unimpressed. Actually it was sparkling white wine, probably out of California. I have no idea. Meh.

I'm enjoying some reallllly cheap chardonnay as I type. And I mean cheap - it's a step down from boxed wine. The container it's in is reminiscent of the soy milk boxes you can get at Starbucks. I won't call it bad in terms of taste, but it is definitely bad. We opened the bottle-box and could smell it.

Once I can actually go into a store and buy this stuff for myself (shhhhh) I'll try some of the good stuff. Or at least better.

平和

Remus

Serious Question

Reasons I don't fancy feminists too much...

Why is it ok to laugh at and joke about murder, but God forbid we laugh at rape? Call me insensitive, call me ignorant, I don't care. Both are horrid things that we have to live with as humans. Yeah, it'd be great if it would stop, but (in my opinion) it's ingrained into our psyches as homo sapiens. We are animals, guys, animals who will go to any lengths to reproduce and come out on top. We will kill, and we will rape. It could also be that neither has hit close to home, and I am thankful for that. But it does not change the fact that animals do stupid things, and we are animals. Psychologically speaking, laughter is the best medicine for the chemicals it releases - so why can't we laugh, why shouldn't we laugh at the worst parts of humanity?

This all started in reading an interview with Seth McFarlane, the creator of 'Family Guy', and I ended up there from a fem blog entry analyzing the answers he gives and on a basic level, the show itself. My opinion is that the show is considered 'bad' because of its brutal honesty. It makes a commentary on society by being politically incorrect. ZOMG OH NOES~!

This is one of few things that piss me off royally. Hence, this entry.

There are my two cents. Spend 'em, chuck 'em, keep 'em, reject 'em. Whatever.

平和

Remus

See you in my dreams...but not you, Mr Dark Lord, sir.

In my dream last night, Voldemort had it out for me. Even though I kept giving him shit (pretending technology was failing, even though I was the one messing with the phone in the elevator) and it didn't really seem like anything serious he was after me for, I was scared as hell. I kept trying to make jokes with his followers (they weren't really Death Eaters) and they just kept glaring at me. I didn't know it was possible to have a legit panic attack while dreaming, but I did. Even after the dream had changed to some other plotline, I kept looking over my shoulder, thinking he was gonna show up when I least expected him.

That's all, I just felt the need to throw that out there.

平和

Remus

Maundy, Maundy

Some quick things that'd flitted through my mind in the last couple of hours.

My bad-student half kicked my ass two-fold tonight. I'd wanted to go to a Maundy Thursday service, but because I've skipped classes quite enough I couldn't. My own fault, I admit that completely. Insult to injury was going over the papers we handed in last week. Mine sucked - again, all me. Doesn't change how it pisses me off/depresses me/make me just want to jump around and scream.

I probably should be packing stuff to cart home this weekend. Three guesses what I'm doing tomorrow morning before I go to breakfast.

If I say 'Michigan,' what do you think of? Allow me. Detroit and the recently-raided terrorists. Bloody hell. No wonder the state is in such a shambles. We have piss-poor public image. No one ever hears about the budding wind farms, or the gorgeous areas not on the lakeshores, or the many many many historical sites. 'Course not. The media only ever blathers on about Detroit and Christian terrorists. (Those could easily get another full entry from me, if I should decide to devote the time and energy. Don't count on it.) And so we come full circle to how I feel about the media and society generally and I don't intend to go into that right now.

Last night was good - in bed by a reasonable time, not up until ten (we'll ignore that I hit snooze several times prior to actually getting up). And yet, here I sit, exhausted and falling asleep, and it's quarter to twelve. Mon Dieu. What kind of college student am I??

...don't answer that.

Right - I'll be going home tomorrow, as I believe I've said, which means no interwebz again until Monday afternoon. So, lucky for you, this sucker'll be dormant for a bit. Probably just as well.

Since I won't 'see' you until then - To those of you of the Christian persuasion, have a blessed Easter, and to those of you of the Jewish persuasion, have a blessed Passover, and to the rest of you, just have a blessed weekend. Whether you believe in blessings or not doesn't mean you can't be blessed.

Ten bucks says I'll see that in the morning and wonder how I ever thought that made sense.

平和

Remus

Why?

Maybe if I spend less time philosophising, and more time just taking on the issues in my life, I'd get shit done.

Wow! What a concept!