How absurd.

Words cannot describe my love for a fictional boy-genius.

Seriously. There are no words in the English language.

That is all.

平和

Remus

Heaven is One Step Away

[It's stuck in my head, sorry...]

Walking into a hazy morning sun with a hood on my head and a mission in my feet makes me feel like a right badass.

Why is that?

That's Motivation, Baby

College has kicked my ass yet again.

But this time, I'm not going to lie there and wallow.

No.

I'm going to get up,

Dust myself off,

And meet it head on.

I'm not giving in.

Fyte on, Britons.

A Piece of My Mind

She lay there, wandering the Internet, being bored, ignoring her language homework casting ominous shadows on her bed. She didn't want to do schoolwork. She wanted to watch a movie. She wanted to listen to music. She wanted to write, for God's sake.

But what about? She never knew. She always just decided to write. But that decision can be a pain in the ass when you have no specific reason to write. No subject, no verb, no predicate. Nothing.

But she wanted to write, Goddammit!

There must be some story wanting to be written somewhere, she thought. But all she could think of was autobiography, and no one would be particularly interested in her autobiography. At least, she wouldn't be.

She had no new characters...but who said the story wanting to be spawned had to be new? Did the future fictional job seeker want their story to be heard? Maybe they did. Their story was still locked in the recesses of her mind. It would seem that particular story is not content with captivity...

Should she go ahead and write it? No, it's not developed enough, she thought. But who said it had to be developed? This could be called prewriting, couldn't it? Well, she thought, it could be, but she'd never done prewriting before. So? But it's not her style...wait. She has a style? Oh very well, then. She began to think how to start.

But as soon as she settled on a story, another one floated to the surface. As if she needed more cause to be indecisive. The story of a girl, and her love life, and the tragedy contained therein...That's a terrible tag line, she thought. Very Juliet. And the heroine is no Juliet. Still an apt summary, though. So after all that indecision she switched tracks and started pondering the turbulent world of relationships.

How ironic that she should write a story about those. She'd never had one, and here she was trying to write nearly a lifetime of experience! Was she ambitious or just stupid? Both, most likely. She sighed resignedly. The homework loomed closer than she would have liked. She sighed again.

After all that, both job seeker and Juliet would have to wait.

Even if where we're going we don't need roads, a roadmap would be great.

I feel like a lot of things have been lining up in my life lately. Maybe this will seem a very self-centred viewpoint, but I don't much care. From this very selfish ideology, I feel as though the cosmos has finally lined up for me. I'm geeked about schoolwork, for one. I'm not giving up on the job front with my fatalism, as I generally do. I'm more out-going and more easy-going with my adopted siblings. I'm generally more inspired.

I think God's been poking me for months now, but I'm just getting the message. I came to school this semester determined to do all I know I can do academically, to make my grades match my ability. I'll try out for plays and not worry about being judged for any of it, good or bad.

With faux-sibling rivalry, I'm a bit over it. I'm not trying to compete with my 'big sister' and confidante. Charlotte doesn't deserve putting up with my idiocy like that, and I shouldn't do that to her. I give that up.

I considered a lot this summer. I considered attempting to learn to cook. I considered giving painting another go. I tried four-needle knitting...well...I guess I'm just trying to broaden my horizons. As I get older, I see the horizon becoming smaller and smaller and one day, it's going to disappear altogether. I want to keep it within my sight for as long as I possibly can. I still question teaching as where I want to go in life. Clearly it's something I want to do, I've been pretending to do it for years, but is it what I want to be my end-all be-all career? I don't think so. There's too much other stuff I enjoy to shut it all out with something as constricting as a teacher's schedule. I don't want my career to define me, either.

There was a comedian here on campus last night - comedian/motivational speaker. He passed something on his college advisor had told him - Do your thing. It's your education. I want to claim my education, I want to do my thing. The usual questions still abound - can I do my thing? What is my thing? What he said resonated with me. Fulfill your dreams. I wish I knew how.

I guess the only thing for it is to improvise. I'll let you know how that works out.

平和

Remus

Some Ponderances

Some days, I feel like the normal rhythm I've followed all my life is spazzing out. Christmastime no longer feels like Christmastime...Homecoming is no longer the full-weekend event it once was to me...

Not that I mind, I suppose, but...in case you haven't noticed, change is not my favourite thing in the world. And considering that this is a major change in my nearly twenty years of existance, it's a tad bit off-putting. It makes me feel as though life isn't just business as usual, it's simply moseying along with no direction...

I don't know. It's just odd, I guess, and might take some time to work out and become the new norm.

In other news, I can't help but wonder how many essays I could write from some of these short-and-sweet entries. Maybe I'm just being my typical self-centred self, but I really do wonder.

平和
Remus

Good evening, chiclets

Just letting you lot know I'm still around.

Went camping a couple weeks back wiv me mum for a week up north, and 'twas wonderful. I didn't do a scrap of writing save recording dreams and I must confess, it was a far more peaceful week for it. Writing turns me introspective, as does the beach...so I held off going to the water until the last night. When we finally went, Mom commented that I wasn't bringing a notebook, and we had a grand old time playing on the beach. It really was a good week.

Um...yeah...

I had summat else to mention here, but as per usual, I've forgotten. If it springs to mind I'll let you know.

In the meantime I'll work on an entry proper.

Cheers, and thanks for sticking around.

平和

Remus

Thought You Ought to Know

I wrote six pages of bullshit the other day. When I get around to it (so in another, say, ten years) I'll type it up and share it with you lot. I only figured I'd warn you so you can start getting excited now.

平和
Remus

C'est moi

Why yes, yes I am an artist.

Best Shuffled-iTunes Moment Ever

Went from (the new) Sweeney Todd's Poor Thing to My Chemical Romance's Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough for the Two of Us.

Fucking brilliant if I do say so myself.


Edit: I feel the need to expound on this. Not sure why, but we all know I do what feels right at any given time, so...The two in the MCR title, to me, refers to Lucy and Mrs Lovett, and both were vying for Mr Todd's attention - both wanting to be the only one reflected in Mr T's eyes...OK this argument made ten times more sense when I first came up with it. I surrender to my brain drain...for now.