So. Brandon.
After some consideration, thought, and conversation, I declare myself perfectly happy with remaining friends -- and nothing more. Knowing both his reasons and mine, they're really very similar in places, so I figure it'd be for the best.
Whoo! I can move on! Man, I'm lame. I was really holding out, too. But now I don't have to. Now I can see whomever I want and not worry about what I may have missed, because now I'm not missing anything.
Peace out from the basket case.
3.7.07
More Cursive!
Mmkay. So. Gaby.
Earlier today, watching Mary and Nick play NightFire, they were in the Snow Blind (naturally), and there're these two caverns in there, with armor, ammo, and slight shelter. They're slightly maze-like, and only have one exit. As I watched Nick beat Mary's ass, she kept respawning in one of the caverns, and she could barely ever get out before Nick found her and shot her again. Through the entire game, I'd commented how creepy it'd be fore the three of us to really be running around there shooting each other -- creepy because I can hear Nick's psychotic laughter every time he fires a shot. The more I thought about that aspect, the more I thought of the caverns, and the creepier it became. I kept joking about Mary getting lost in there, but I really would get lost in there, no problem. That scared me. Not even creeped me out, it really scared me. Put it all together -- Nick with a Golden Gun and no injuries, me with the standard-issue PP7; Nick knowing exactly where I am, me lost in a cavern; me hobbling around with several bulletholes and little stamina left. He'd come right after me, I'd run frantically trying to get armor and another weapon, then get lost because I didn't know which of the caverns I was in, and just as I'd find the exit, he'd be coming in with his fully-loaded Golden Gun pointed in my face. I'd run backwards, fumbling for my Delta Repeater (which I'd have picked up in my frantic running), he'd watch me, I'd pull it out at last, just get it aimed, and he'd blast me in the head with a Golden Bullet. Then it'd start all over again, because I'd respawn, and the hunt would begin. He'd find me, and then I'd be gone again. As this occurred to me, I actually wanted to stop watching them play when they ended up in the caverns, just because I couldn't gt the thought out of my mind...and the fear of the circumstance out of my gut. It was almost like a coming panic attack, so I asked for paper, because lately, if I write it down I can pre-empt it. But to no avail. So I quit watching for a while, until I felt better.
Then, a couple hours ago, Mary and I left Nick's and ended up at Meijer so I could get a new pair of flip-flops. As we were coming out, in the place between the two doors, I got a huge whiff of alcohol, mostly beer. I almost stopped, but my head snapped up (I watch the floor when I walk) and looked both ways for Dave. I only found the Bottle Return. But my first thought was Dave -- I smell alcohol (kind of) a lot, and I like it and I love the taste, but I don't think I've ever smelt it and immediately thought Dave before. so that got me thinking. I don't realise it, apparently, but I'm far too vested in Gaby's story for my own good. I didn't realise hwo easily it pops up until tonight, and it both scared me and got me thinking. Scared because it means I'm uber paranoid and don't realise how much I live in the story. Pensive because it's got to mean that there's something in my past that I don't know about, be it abuse to me by an alcoholic someone, or to someone I loved deeply so I've blocked it out, or it could have been me in a past life that's trying to resurface (perhaps because my soul recognises the abusive soul, and that soul is in one of my friends, and it's trying to warn me but can't be explicit...??). I don't know. All I know is I almost wish I hadn't met Gaby four years ago. If I hadn't done, I wouldn't have so many problems, nor would I be writing this novel. I'm almost afraid to write any more of the story, simply because I haven't looked at it in over a month, and yet the smallest thing brings it to mind -- not as a story, mind you, but in recall; like you know how someone can block something mentally completely, but with the right trigger can go into total recall? That's what I feel's happening everytime something triggers Gaby. Hm. I really want to know, so I can do something about it if I am...and yet, I'm afraid of what I might learn. I'm afraid there really will be something, and if there is, I'm not sure I want to know.
Earlier today, watching Mary and Nick play NightFire, they were in the Snow Blind (naturally), and there're these two caverns in there, with armor, ammo, and slight shelter. They're slightly maze-like, and only have one exit. As I watched Nick beat Mary's ass, she kept respawning in one of the caverns, and she could barely ever get out before Nick found her and shot her again. Through the entire game, I'd commented how creepy it'd be fore the three of us to really be running around there shooting each other -- creepy because I can hear Nick's psychotic laughter every time he fires a shot. The more I thought about that aspect, the more I thought of the caverns, and the creepier it became. I kept joking about Mary getting lost in there, but I really would get lost in there, no problem. That scared me. Not even creeped me out, it really scared me. Put it all together -- Nick with a Golden Gun and no injuries, me with the standard-issue PP7; Nick knowing exactly where I am, me lost in a cavern; me hobbling around with several bulletholes and little stamina left. He'd come right after me, I'd run frantically trying to get armor and another weapon, then get lost because I didn't know which of the caverns I was in, and just as I'd find the exit, he'd be coming in with his fully-loaded Golden Gun pointed in my face. I'd run backwards, fumbling for my Delta Repeater (which I'd have picked up in my frantic running), he'd watch me, I'd pull it out at last, just get it aimed, and he'd blast me in the head with a Golden Bullet. Then it'd start all over again, because I'd respawn, and the hunt would begin. He'd find me, and then I'd be gone again. As this occurred to me, I actually wanted to stop watching them play when they ended up in the caverns, just because I couldn't gt the thought out of my mind...and the fear of the circumstance out of my gut. It was almost like a coming panic attack, so I asked for paper, because lately, if I write it down I can pre-empt it. But to no avail. So I quit watching for a while, until I felt better.
Then, a couple hours ago, Mary and I left Nick's and ended up at Meijer so I could get a new pair of flip-flops. As we were coming out, in the place between the two doors, I got a huge whiff of alcohol, mostly beer. I almost stopped, but my head snapped up (I watch the floor when I walk) and looked both ways for Dave. I only found the Bottle Return. But my first thought was Dave -- I smell alcohol (kind of) a lot, and I like it and I love the taste, but I don't think I've ever smelt it and immediately thought Dave before. so that got me thinking. I don't realise it, apparently, but I'm far too vested in Gaby's story for my own good. I didn't realise hwo easily it pops up until tonight, and it both scared me and got me thinking. Scared because it means I'm uber paranoid and don't realise how much I live in the story. Pensive because it's got to mean that there's something in my past that I don't know about, be it abuse to me by an alcoholic someone, or to someone I loved deeply so I've blocked it out, or it could have been me in a past life that's trying to resurface (perhaps because my soul recognises the abusive soul, and that soul is in one of my friends, and it's trying to warn me but can't be explicit...??). I don't know. All I know is I almost wish I hadn't met Gaby four years ago. If I hadn't done, I wouldn't have so many problems, nor would I be writing this novel. I'm almost afraid to write any more of the story, simply because I haven't looked at it in over a month, and yet the smallest thing brings it to mind -- not as a story, mind you, but in recall; like you know how someone can block something mentally completely, but with the right trigger can go into total recall? That's what I feel's happening everytime something triggers Gaby. Hm. I really want to know, so I can do something about it if I am...and yet, I'm afraid of what I might learn. I'm afraid there really will be something, and if there is, I'm not sure I want to know.
I Fail at Cursive.
Ok. So.
Reasons I like Brandon:
- nice
- sweet
- said yes to prom
- would be willing to go out with me
- family likes him
Reasons I don't like Brandon:
- flirt
- neither Alexis, Mary, nor Nick are too keen on him as a boyfriend
- cheated on Jordan three times over the course of two years...
- I say I do, but I'm not sure I really trust him
God. I hate me. I love him so much I'd rather see him with someone else then with me if it'd make him happy (even Martha, believe it or not). And I should probably trust him, I think I can. But I'm not sure, I keep second-guessing myself, and I hate that. He tellse me I can trust him, but I keep thinking about how he cheated on Jordan so many times in the course of so little time. I don't want to let him go at all, either -- if nothing else, I want to stay friends with him. I mean, he's not my best friend, I've already got two of those, but he's still a good friend, considering I know a lot of his shit. The more I talk to him, and the more I think about it, the more I think he's right: he's not a good first boyfriend for me. I don't know why -- I should message him about that. I'd like to know his reasons for thinking taht. Granted, I don't know mine, but I'd like to know his. I hate being like this, it makes me feel obsessed, adn after a while I hate consulting even my best friends becaseu I neither want to bore them, nor have them get tired of me talking about it. I don't know. Help!
Oh. And I was just thinking that your dad's a creeper.
*runs away*
23.8.06
i need the friggin stage before i go insanea
I feel...: determined
Jammin' to: Mozart *Giovani Leiti from The Marriage of Figaro*
It's not finished!...Not nearly!...Forgive me. Time was I could write a Mass in a week!...Give me one month more and it'll be done: I swear it!...He'll grant me that, surely? God can't want it unfinished!...Look -- look, see what I've done. Here's the Kyrie -- that's finished! Take that to Him -- He'll see it's not unworthy!...Grant me time, I beg you! If you do, I swear I'll write a real piece of music. I know I've boasted I've written hundreds, but it's not true. I've written nothing finally good! Oh, it began so well, my life. Once the world was so full, so happy!...All the journeys -- all the carriages -- all the rooms of smiles! Everyone smiled at me once -- the king at Schonbrunn; the princess at Versailles -- they lit my way with candles to the clavier -- my father bowing, bowing, bowing with such joy!..."Chevalier Mozart, my miraculous son!"...Why has it all gone?...Why?...Was I so bad? So wicked?...Answer for Him and tell me! [music rips] [fearfully] Why...Is it not good?
Jammin' to: Mozart *Giovani Leiti from The Marriage of Figaro*
It's not finished!...Not nearly!...Forgive me. Time was I could write a Mass in a week!...Give me one month more and it'll be done: I swear it!...He'll grant me that, surely? God can't want it unfinished!...Look -- look, see what I've done. Here's the Kyrie -- that's finished! Take that to Him -- He'll see it's not unworthy!...Grant me time, I beg you! If you do, I swear I'll write a real piece of music. I know I've boasted I've written hundreds, but it's not true. I've written nothing finally good! Oh, it began so well, my life. Once the world was so full, so happy!...All the journeys -- all the carriages -- all the rooms of smiles! Everyone smiled at me once -- the king at Schonbrunn; the princess at Versailles -- they lit my way with candles to the clavier -- my father bowing, bowing, bowing with such joy!..."Chevalier Mozart, my miraculous son!"...Why has it all gone?...Why?...Was I so bad? So wicked?...Answer for Him and tell me! [music rips] [fearfully] Why...Is it not good?
12.8.06
what i wrote two nights ago
I feel...: creative (but not...wtf)
Jammin' to: My Chemical Romance *I'm Not Okay (I Promise)*
i hate this feeling. all i wanna do is write, but what? it's 11.30 at night, so part of me just wants to sleep. but this part of me wants to write. why? there's gotta be a reason. i just wished i knew what it was. it's seriously all i wanna do at the moment.
im not ok i dont want you to go don't leave me here alone i cant do it without you youre all ive got left its not the life it seems listen to me im not ok i need you here with me for it to be ok otherwise im nothing i dont want to be here all alone with no one here beside me i dont need the extra madness i need you im not ok is that why youre gone or are you gone because im not ok you jumped out the second floor im not ok i need you dont go you cant go cant you see im desperate or are you honestly that blind you cant go not without me i cant be here alone with you never coming home its not fair was i the reason you left if youd known id need you so would you stop walking away im not ok please dont leave me here i need you if i dont have you i might die slowly inside i dont want to exist like that why do you keep walking away from me youre just making it worse i cant survive without you cant you understand that if you leave me here they'll kill me youll kill me you are killing me by walking away where are you going thats so important what did i do wrong to earn your scorn im not ok i wont be till you save me dont leave me here do you know what theyve done to me what theyll do to me spirit me away with you ill fade to black im barely holding on have you got nothing to say by the grace of God stay with me better yet get me away from this place i dont want to stay here any longer ive been here long enough where are you going im begging you dont go do you have to please take me with you i cant stay here any longer ill die do you understand they put me in a hole i cant stay i must get out i need you remember me take me with you i cant implore you enough get me out of here please this night im all alone in here i must be free i cant wait much longer hurry just this waiting is killing me im staring down a loaded gun get me out of here the fuse is short its about to blow im falling down in despair im on my knees begging you were once my one true love why wont you rescue me now was i really that stupid to think that highly of you i thought youd do anything for me you said you would but here you are just standing there impervius to my pleas but oh here they come please quickly now take me get me out or thisll be the very end why do you look at me like that theyre coming closer please let me out hunting season is open and im the first victim for theyre here theyre binding me and youre standing there watching youre not powerless please i beg you stop them dont let them take me now theyve got my feet im being dragged away youre getting smaller and smaller its getting darker and darker im going to die you know theyve come to actually kill me this time you could have saved me you could have prevented it but im beginning to believe you had a hand in my current state of affairs it was all you wasn't it but why you knew of my affections and now youve shattered them youve shattered me but at the same time though i be dead so far away ill always miss you more than i did yesterday.
12.09 am
damn. when i say i wanna write, i mean - i wanna write!
holy hell.
yeah im done for the nightgood night.
~~~
So yeah. That's what I wrote two nights ago. Now, if you'll kindly step to one side, I'll show you some interesting aspects of the piece. You'll notice many writings of "im not ok": well, I was listening to that song when I first set pen to paper. Many little phrases are from that song too. Um...there's only like two places where I put punctuation marks (of any kind) and that's because that's how I actually wrote it in my notebook. The fact that I could read it at all is a miracle, to be honest, my writing's terrible (as some of you can attest to...). I took other snippets of songs, but I don't know what they're called, so...Yes, I know the one question ("im not ok is that why youre gone or are you gone because im not ok") doesn't make sense, but a) I was tired when I wrote it, and b) it made sense at the time. I also threw an actually humourous line in from Shakespeare's "Hamlet": "oh here they come". Well, it's humourous in the play at any rate. Um...yeah. I think that's about all of my little footnotes. If I think of any more, I'll add an idea to the entry.
Peace
Remus
Jammin' to: My Chemical Romance *I'm Not Okay (I Promise)*
i hate this feeling. all i wanna do is write, but what? it's 11.30 at night, so part of me just wants to sleep. but this part of me wants to write. why? there's gotta be a reason. i just wished i knew what it was. it's seriously all i wanna do at the moment.
im not ok i dont want you to go don't leave me here alone i cant do it without you youre all ive got left its not the life it seems listen to me im not ok i need you here with me for it to be ok otherwise im nothing i dont want to be here all alone with no one here beside me i dont need the extra madness i need you im not ok is that why youre gone or are you gone because im not ok you jumped out the second floor im not ok i need you dont go you cant go cant you see im desperate or are you honestly that blind you cant go not without me i cant be here alone with you never coming home its not fair was i the reason you left if youd known id need you so would you stop walking away im not ok please dont leave me here i need you if i dont have you i might die slowly inside i dont want to exist like that why do you keep walking away from me youre just making it worse i cant survive without you cant you understand that if you leave me here they'll kill me youll kill me you are killing me by walking away where are you going thats so important what did i do wrong to earn your scorn im not ok i wont be till you save me dont leave me here do you know what theyve done to me what theyll do to me spirit me away with you ill fade to black im barely holding on have you got nothing to say by the grace of God stay with me better yet get me away from this place i dont want to stay here any longer ive been here long enough where are you going im begging you dont go do you have to please take me with you i cant stay here any longer ill die do you understand they put me in a hole i cant stay i must get out i need you remember me take me with you i cant implore you enough get me out of here please this night im all alone in here i must be free i cant wait much longer hurry just this waiting is killing me im staring down a loaded gun get me out of here the fuse is short its about to blow im falling down in despair im on my knees begging you were once my one true love why wont you rescue me now was i really that stupid to think that highly of you i thought youd do anything for me you said you would but here you are just standing there impervius to my pleas but oh here they come please quickly now take me get me out or thisll be the very end why do you look at me like that theyre coming closer please let me out hunting season is open and im the first victim for theyre here theyre binding me and youre standing there watching youre not powerless please i beg you stop them dont let them take me now theyve got my feet im being dragged away youre getting smaller and smaller its getting darker and darker im going to die you know theyve come to actually kill me this time you could have saved me you could have prevented it but im beginning to believe you had a hand in my current state of affairs it was all you wasn't it but why you knew of my affections and now youve shattered them youve shattered me but at the same time though i be dead so far away ill always miss you more than i did yesterday.
12.09 am
damn. when i say i wanna write, i mean - i wanna write!
holy hell.
yeah im done for the nightgood night.
~~~
So yeah. That's what I wrote two nights ago. Now, if you'll kindly step to one side, I'll show you some interesting aspects of the piece. You'll notice many writings of "im not ok": well, I was listening to that song when I first set pen to paper. Many little phrases are from that song too. Um...there's only like two places where I put punctuation marks (of any kind) and that's because that's how I actually wrote it in my notebook. The fact that I could read it at all is a miracle, to be honest, my writing's terrible (as some of you can attest to...). I took other snippets of songs, but I don't know what they're called, so...Yes, I know the one question ("im not ok is that why youre gone or are you gone because im not ok") doesn't make sense, but a) I was tired when I wrote it, and b) it made sense at the time. I also threw an actually humourous line in from Shakespeare's "Hamlet": "oh here they come". Well, it's humourous in the play at any rate. Um...yeah. I think that's about all of my little footnotes. If I think of any more, I'll add an idea to the entry.
Peace
Remus
11.8.06
La de da
I feel...: pensive again
Jammin' to: My Chemical Romance *Thank You For the Venom*
So I'm laying in bad last night before I fell asleep, and it's like 11.30, and I decide that I wanna write. I didn't know what, or why, but I did. Luckily I had a notebook on the shelf by my bed, so I got that down and just kinda started writing. I don't have the notebook here with me, but I wrote for a good two pages...I'll put that up here tomorrow...provided I get a few minutes tomorrow morning to update *again*...So yeah, that's that. I think.
Peace
Remus
Jammin' to: My Chemical Romance *Thank You For the Venom*
So I'm laying in bad last night before I fell asleep, and it's like 11.30, and I decide that I wanna write. I didn't know what, or why, but I did. Luckily I had a notebook on the shelf by my bed, so I got that down and just kinda started writing. I don't have the notebook here with me, but I wrote for a good two pages...I'll put that up here tomorrow...provided I get a few minutes tomorrow morning to update *again*...So yeah, that's that. I think.
Peace
Remus
9.8.06
Thinking sucks
I feel...: pensive
Jammin' to: My Chemical Romance *Vampires Will Never Hurt You*
So I was thinking last night (yes my head now hurts lol), and I realised that I don't like telling other people what music groups I listen to. Like, almost if I tell them that, it reveals something about me that maybe I don't want the world to know...like I hate doing finals in Concert Choir, because I like to do songs I know by the artists I love, but when it comes time to say, "Hey I'm [Remus] and I'm doing [a song] by [an artist]" it's like, I can't tell them that, it's too intimate, I don't want them to have something else to judge me by.
Huh. It's the damn judgement complex again. It all comes back to that, doesn't it?
Peace
Remus
Jammin' to: My Chemical Romance *Vampires Will Never Hurt You*
So I was thinking last night (yes my head now hurts lol), and I realised that I don't like telling other people what music groups I listen to. Like, almost if I tell them that, it reveals something about me that maybe I don't want the world to know...like I hate doing finals in Concert Choir, because I like to do songs I know by the artists I love, but when it comes time to say, "Hey I'm [Remus] and I'm doing [a song] by [an artist]" it's like, I can't tell them that, it's too intimate, I don't want them to have something else to judge me by.
Huh. It's the damn judgement complex again. It all comes back to that, doesn't it?
Peace
Remus
2.8.06
I've figured summat else out
I feel...: apathetic
Jammin' to: Twisted Sister *We're Not Gonna Take It*
Well, it's not what I meant to do earlier (at least, I don't think so...) but it's summat to say...I spend all my time trying to find out all I can about someone, but I'll only have curiousity as long as I don't have to tell the person anything about me. Why? Dunno. Maybe because if the person doesn't know anything about me, then they can't throw it back in my face...and then I have nothing to be embarrassed about. I don't have to be paranoid about what they think of me, because they'll have nothing to judge me on except my looks...which aren't all that great, I'll grant you, but still, it's not the point, it's the principle of the thing. They're a bad thing to go by, like judging a book by it's cover. But I always expect the judgment to be harsh, y'know? I feel like I'm under a microscope, like I could be in a huge crowd situation, but I feel like everyone's judging me. What's up with that?
Yeah, I'm done.
Peace
Remus
Jammin' to: Twisted Sister *We're Not Gonna Take It*
Well, it's not what I meant to do earlier (at least, I don't think so...) but it's summat to say...I spend all my time trying to find out all I can about someone, but I'll only have curiousity as long as I don't have to tell the person anything about me. Why? Dunno. Maybe because if the person doesn't know anything about me, then they can't throw it back in my face...and then I have nothing to be embarrassed about. I don't have to be paranoid about what they think of me, because they'll have nothing to judge me on except my looks...which aren't all that great, I'll grant you, but still, it's not the point, it's the principle of the thing. They're a bad thing to go by, like judging a book by it's cover. But I always expect the judgment to be harsh, y'know? I feel like I'm under a microscope, like I could be in a huge crowd situation, but I feel like everyone's judging me. What's up with that?
Yeah, I'm done.
Peace
Remus
1.8.06
Survey says part deux/so yeah...
I feel...: half-assed (aka amused)
Jammin' to: MCR *To The End*
All of that & More
B E S T
Male friend
sir
Female friend
ummmm...solly, but I\'d have to say Meddy
Vacation
Niagara Falls
W O R S T
Time of the Day
3.47 am *shrugs*
Day of the Week
Monday
Food
Spinach
Memory
ummmm...good question
L A S T
Person you saw
my cousin
Talked on the phone with
my mom
Hugged
...I don\'t remember
Text Messaged
Pippy
Messaged on Myspace
haven\'t got one
Kissed
no one *cries*
T O D A Y
What are you doing now
watching Supernova and this
What were you doing earlier
watching movies, was on parley
Wearing
my pjs
Better than yesterday
well, my ankle and sunburn hurt less so yeah i guess
Doing later
um, sleeping
T O M O R R O W
Is
Wednesday? *shrugs*
Got any Plans
maybe hang out with nick and meddy, dunno
Goal
remember what i was gonna say to sir a few weeks ago
Dislikes about tomorrow
gonna be hot again
F A V O R I T E
Number
either 14 or 24
Song
MCR\'s \"You Know What They Do to Guys Like Us in Prison\"
Color
deep deep red...like blood red...and navy blue
Season
fall
C U R R E N T L Y
Missing
sir
Wanting
...
Needing
...
R A N D O M
Are you a cuddler
think so
Are you a morning person
um lemme think NO
Are you a Perfectionist
sometimes
Are you a only child
yup
Do you have tendency to fall for the "wrong guy/girl"
dunno
Do you have a secret your ashamed to reveal
plenty
Do you have a hidden talent
if i do it\'s hidden pretty well, even from me
Do you have friends that have never seen your natural hair color
um...everyone has, never done anything to it
Is there someone you wish were dead
don\'t think so
Have you have the cops called on you
nope
Are you currently suffering from a broken heart
...in a manner of speaking
Left handed or right handed
like i\'ve said before, does it matter? either way it\'s illegible
Have you changed a lot over the past year
i think so
Tell us YOUR answers to this survey! Click HERE!
Created by KoKoBecky, taken 675 times.Created at Kwiz.biz - Kwizzes, Polls and Surveys!
===============================================
I feel...: meh
Jammin' to: Goo Goo Dolls *Iris*
So...I'm just chillin', watching The Three Stooges, and it occurred to me last night, that Larry looks like Ray Toro from MCR. Yup. Not totally, but the resemblance is there.
Um...so again, I feel like I wanna update, but I dunno why. I hate it when I feel like this. All I wanna do is write in my journal about something, but I can't...because I don't know what I wanna write about. I hate this.
Well, if I figure out what I wanna write about...I will.
Peace
Remus
PS. Maybe all I can say is, I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand...
Jammin' to: MCR *To The End*
All of that & More
B E S T
Male friend
sir
Female friend
ummmm...solly, but I\'d have to say Meddy
Vacation
Niagara Falls
W O R S T
Time of the Day
3.47 am *shrugs*
Day of the Week
Monday
Food
Spinach
Memory
ummmm...good question
L A S T
Person you saw
my cousin
Talked on the phone with
my mom
Hugged
...I don\'t remember
Text Messaged
Pippy
Messaged on Myspace
haven\'t got one
Kissed
no one *cries*
T O D A Y
What are you doing now
watching Supernova and this
What were you doing earlier
watching movies, was on parley
Wearing
my pjs
Better than yesterday
well, my ankle and sunburn hurt less so yeah i guess
Doing later
um, sleeping
T O M O R R O W
Is
Wednesday? *shrugs*
Got any Plans
maybe hang out with nick and meddy, dunno
Goal
remember what i was gonna say to sir a few weeks ago
Dislikes about tomorrow
gonna be hot again
F A V O R I T E
Number
either 14 or 24
Song
MCR\'s \"You Know What They Do to Guys Like Us in Prison\"
Color
deep deep red...like blood red...and navy blue
Season
fall
C U R R E N T L Y
Missing
sir
Wanting
...
Needing
...
R A N D O M
Are you a cuddler
think so
Are you a morning person
um lemme think NO
Are you a Perfectionist
sometimes
Are you a only child
yup
Do you have tendency to fall for the "wrong guy/girl"
dunno
Do you have a secret your ashamed to reveal
plenty
Do you have a hidden talent
if i do it\'s hidden pretty well, even from me
Do you have friends that have never seen your natural hair color
um...everyone has, never done anything to it
Is there someone you wish were dead
don\'t think so
Have you have the cops called on you
nope
Are you currently suffering from a broken heart
...in a manner of speaking
Left handed or right handed
like i\'ve said before, does it matter? either way it\'s illegible
Have you changed a lot over the past year
i think so
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Created by KoKoBecky, taken 675 times.Created at Kwiz.biz - Kwizzes, Polls and Surveys!
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I feel...: meh
Jammin' to: Goo Goo Dolls *Iris*
So...I'm just chillin', watching The Three Stooges, and it occurred to me last night, that Larry looks like Ray Toro from MCR. Yup. Not totally, but the resemblance is there.
Um...so again, I feel like I wanna update, but I dunno why. I hate it when I feel like this. All I wanna do is write in my journal about something, but I can't...because I don't know what I wanna write about. I hate this.
Well, if I figure out what I wanna write about...I will.
Peace
Remus
PS. Maybe all I can say is, I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand...
28.7.06
Ahh, l'amour...
Jammin' to: Taking Back Sunday *Set Phasers to Stun*
What is love? Is it a true, tangible thing? Or just real? And why do we have to fall in love with guys, when the majority of them are assholes?
But that's not the point of this.
Maybe the question is not what is love, but why do we fall in love, sometimes only to fall back out? What's the point of it all? Most of all, though...why must we fall in love with men who are -- er -- otherwise engaged? All it does is cause us pain. As much as we love him, it will never happen, because he's hopelessly devoted to someone else. Yes, that should be enough to stop the feelings (and thereby stop the pain) but love is stronger thant that. Even if we find someone else, the feelings never really subside. They'll always be there. As much as we want the pain to go, it just enver will. We'll do our damnedest, but nothing doing. Just deal with it, and hope -- either that something will come of it, or that it will simply vanish.
What is love? Is it a true, tangible thing? Or just real? And why do we have to fall in love with guys, when the majority of them are assholes?
But that's not the point of this.
Maybe the question is not what is love, but why do we fall in love, sometimes only to fall back out? What's the point of it all? Most of all, though...why must we fall in love with men who are -- er -- otherwise engaged? All it does is cause us pain. As much as we love him, it will never happen, because he's hopelessly devoted to someone else. Yes, that should be enough to stop the feelings (and thereby stop the pain) but love is stronger thant that. Even if we find someone else, the feelings never really subside. They'll always be there. As much as we want the pain to go, it just enver will. We'll do our damnedest, but nothing doing. Just deal with it, and hope -- either that something will come of it, or that it will simply vanish.
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