You Know Something?

I really think I love him.

More Awesome Playlistyness

Don't try to hide your excitement, I know you're geeked.

1.) The Hand That Feeds - Nine Inch Nails
2.) Kill All Your Friends - My Chemical Romance
3.) My Way Home is Through You - My Chemical Romance
4.) Poison - Alice Cooper
5.) Lay Down My Pride - Jeremy Camp
6.) Another Brick in the Wall - Pink Floyd
7.) Even Flow - Pearl Jam
8.) Killing Lonliness - HIM
9.) Suavemente - Elvis Crespo
10.) Desert Song - My Chemical Romance
11.) Born Free - Andy Williams
12.) The Adventure - Angels & Airwaves
13.) Piano Man - Billy Joel
14.) It's My Life - Bon Jovi
15.) Sooner or Later - Breaking Benjamin
16.) Vitamin R (Leading Us Along) - Chevelle
17.) 25 or 6 to 4 - Chicago
18.) Clocks - Coldplay

Heh. Enjoy.

Or something.

I seem to have this thing for eighteen tracks. Huh.

You know me, bright ideas just pop into me head and I keep thinkin'...

Seems a downright shame how short life can be, and how unexpected the end often is. I'm not sure why, but this has been bouncing around my head lately. It kind of began with the passing of Heath Ledger - I hadn't seen Brokeback until a couple monthes after his death, and the whole time I was watching, I kept thinking how great this loss was, so much talent...and it had just begun to hit its stride; he hadn't been in a great number of films, but he was finally getting the recognition he deserved, he had so far to go. A dear friend of mine recently lost someone, and while I didn't know him, it's odd to think that my friend will never see him again, never call, never talk to him, because he simply isn't there anymore. It hit me again in full force, and brought on this blog, a few minutes ago - a local actor passed away two years ago of Crohn's disease (it flared up and he was gone), and he was similar to Heath; he was a budding actor here in town, and was in the process of moving to either Chicago or New York, I forget which, to persue acting full time, because he was brilliant at it - I'd seen him in several productions locally, and had wanted to work with him, or at least meet him - but that won't be happening any longer, because he's not here, he will never again grace the stage with his superb ability.

I guess, my point kind of is, carpe diem, kids. If you want to meet someone (or go as far as work with them) make it happen, don't wait. Maybe that's not really my point at all. Carpe diem is, to be sure, but...make life happen, because if you just wait for it to come, you may find your wait cut short. One of my favourite sayings is Shit Happens. Yeah, it does. But sometimes, if you really want shit to happen, you have to give it a kick. And what of it if you get called a shitkicker? At least you had fun doing it. Don't worry about having to clean your shoe at the end of the day. Just seize it before it slips away for good.

What if I

called you Maureen?

Why Not?

Name five places that fall into the following categories:

1) Favorite Destination -- someplace you've visited once or often and would gladly go again South Dakota, either Custer or Rapid City. There is absolutely nothing in any direction if you just go a few minutes outside either city, and I love it. Beautiful. And yet, if one feels like being un-hermity, town is just a short drive away. Perfect. Chicago would be good too =]

2) Unfavorite Destination -- someplace you wish you had never been (and why) I honestly don't have an answer for this. Um...I mean, I bitch about a lot of places kinda a lot, but I don't wish I'd never been somewhere. But if I think of something, I'll edit.

3) Fantasy Destination -- someplace to visit if cost and/or time did not matter Southern France, anywhere in Japan, California (specifically in the next few days *jealous*), Forks, Fleet Street...Right now, I want to be in Dbo.

4) Fictional Destination -- someplace from a book or movie or other art or media form you would love to visit, although it exists only in imagination Bahahaha Hogwarts, Hogsmeade, Castle Rock (ME), Narnia (don't Arty, don't even touch it).

5) Funny Destination -- the funniest place name you've ever visited or want to visit Menominee's up there, but I think I might have been. I'm sure there're more, I'm a tad brain-fried. Again, if I think of some, I'll update.

This looks so much better in my journal.

It was a dark and stormy night...

I love clichés.

It wasn't dark, it wasn't stormy; hell, it wasn't even night. But it makes it more dramatic, doesn't it?

It was a dark and stormy night. The phone line had been mysteriously cut dead, and there was now a mysterious scratching sound on the front door...

Just kidding. Sorry. I've read too many cheap books for my own good.

Well, that's not true either. No book is cheap, even at the dollar store. I meant "not good."

But that can't be. There is no such thing as a "not good" book. Only books that I don't like. But I didn't not like those dollar store books. They just...weren't my favourites. Yeah.

Oh! I'm supposed to be telling a story.

Anyway. It was just after lunchtime, on a partly cloudy day when the phone rang. It was my friend Arty (though she wouldn't like me calling her that) asking what was up. Nothing, I told her. So she asked if I could come over. Sure. So I did. Then we sat around, playing musical soundtracks and singing along. And it was fun.

That's it. That's my story.

Seems rather ridiculous when it comes right down to it, doesn't it? That's why I tried to embellish it with clichés. That sorta failed.

But yeah. That's it.


Oh! The moral is -

I love my friends.

They make me happy.

They get me through life.

Even when I fail at it.


But it's all good.

Because
I LOVE MY FRIENDS.

I Just Made

An uber-amazing playlist. (Sorry Masbeth.)

1.) Miss Murder - AFI
2.) Nothing Comes Easy but You - The Black Maria
3.) Ex's and Oh's - Atreyu
4.) Copa Cabana - Barry Manilow
5.) Barbara Ann - Beach Boys
6.) Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy - Big & Rich
7.) Piano Man - Billy Joel
8.) Cold - Crossfade
9.) Waking Up with Wolves - The Black Maria
10.) Old Time Rock and Roll - Bob Seager
11.) Hate Me - Blue October
12.) Move Along - All-American Rejects
13.) Shameful - Atreyu
14.) Sooner or Later - Breaking Benjamin
15.) Cats in the Cradle - Cat Stevens
16.) Vitamin R - Chevelle
17.) Clocks - Coldplay
18.) The Adventure - Angels and Airwaves


Oh yeah.

So Far, and Yet So Close

This is the second time today I've had the urge to update this silly thing, so I figured I should.

But what to talk about...How 'bout life?

In six days' time, I will be done with my freshman year of college. o_O Talk about intense. Granted, I've got to get through my finals first...*twitch* I'm not talking about this anymore, it's depressing.

Took a walk into town. Hm, let me amend that to say "hike" - the walk lasted a good forty minutes. And it poured on us for most of the trip. I think my jeans might be dry, dunno about my "purse." Doubt it. We went just to wander the Goodwill in town, and that was mildly worth it. I picked up the original Sims and the Livin' Large expansion pack. But lo! the new phenomena that is Windows Vista does not like the lowly Sims. >.< I also picked up Ecstasy: Three Tales of Chemical Romance. I've read it before, and figured, why not? It was fifty nine cents. (Everything total cost me under five dollars. Yay Goodwill!)

I have a shit ton of packing to do. Ew.

Stress is getting to me. This has been one of my worst semesters ever. Depression's set in, only in (likely) clinical form this time...um...yeah. That's actually all I'm willing to say about it here. Let's just say May 7 can't come soon enough. Insha'allah, next year will be ten times better.

I also keep having these random-ass dreams. I won't detail them on here, mostly because I can't remember all the details, but I'm beginning to notice a trend. Masbeth...?

Reckon that's all for now. If I think of summat else, I'll update again.

i can haz sleep?

*sigh*

How long can we wait here
To say goodbye?
The words once they're spoken
Are words that we can't take

Back to where we were, before
Things got in the way
Life gets so confusing
When you know what you're loosing

You
Me
Why can't we see that there's
More to love than we'll ever know
Sometimes you're closer when you're
Letting go
I wish the best for you
I wish the best for you

We'll both regret the hurting
That we will do
You'll learn to forget me
And I'll try I'll try to forget...

You
Me
Why can't we see that there's
More to love than we'll ever know
Sometimes you're closer when you're
Letting go
I wish the best for you
I wish the best

If you ever need a place that you can run to
I'll be here, I'll be here

You
Me
Why can't we see that there's
More to love than we'll ever know
Sometimes you're closer when you're
Letting go
I wish the best for you
I wish the best for you



Look. I know I'm a bitch. I'm my own worst enemy. I can only imagine what I do to you. I'm miserable to live with. But...Even though it's mostly my fault, I feel like we should know each other better than this, hell, we should love each other more than this. Or differently...not that way. (Sorry, had to alleviate the tension - you know how I am.) We shouldn't be this way. I'm the guilty party. But...I don't know. I guess all I want to say is, I don't want to live this song. Because it wouldn't work. Not on my part, anyway. We'd finally decide to part ways for a while, because we need time or what have you, but just as we start to walk away from each other, I wouldn't be able to help but stop, spin around, run up behind you and hold you. Cliche, yes. Lover-ish, yes. But...I do. I love you. I mean...shit. You were my first sister. I can't not love you. No matter how much I bitch, no matter what I do or say or whatever, I always feel guilty. Sure, I'm outwardly pissed, but that's not what's deep down. Deep down I'm kicking myself - for being bitchy, for not believing my mom (and others) when they said we shouldn't do this, for...well. For being my styngy self. I hate it. Don't go maternal and tell me not to. This is one instance where, if you don't let me hate myself, it'll run unchecked, and who knows where I'll end up. I need to. Let me. Oh. And while it may not seem like it now, I'm almost fairly maybe confident that it'll all work out. And who knows? Maybe I'll kick my cliche habit.

Oh Joy

I gotted my schedule. Yay.

Intro to Anthropology, Intermediate Japanese, French, and Egyptian Art.

Oh yeah.

I think Imma die next semester. *nods*